It’s Thursday night and you’re laying on Madison’s couch. She starts complaining about her boss and says “I’m not getting paid enough to do this” as her Cartier bracelet clinks the glass. Maya rolls her eyes. Emily chimes in “You have no idea” and launches into a vague monologue about her last failed attempt to negotiate a raise, though she somehow manages to not mention a single number. You think about the job offer sitting in your inbox. You had considered seeing what your friends thought about it, but now you’re thinking that sharing the specifics might just make things weird. You can probably just figure it out on your own, right?

Can I ask you a personal question?

Salary Transparency: 🤑 vs. 🤐

Why do we get scared to talk about money with friends? Well, it turns out only 17% of parents who make over $100K plan to tell their kids how much they make. If we can’t talk about money at home, no wonder we can’t discuss it elsewhere. And for women, we’d venture to say it’s worse. We’ve been socialized to blend in, and talking about money only makes us stand out. We’re often pitted against each other (see: fabricated Taylor & Beyoncé rivalry), so sometimes sharing numbers can feel like a competition. And finally, we’ve been conditioned to be people pleasers and make everyone else feel comfortable, even at our own expense. And the data backs it up. According to a 2022 YouGov poll, 68% of women put others’ needs ahead of their own.

Tell me why it matters

The gender pay gap is still very much alive and well with women making on average 82 cents to the white man’s dollar (and it’s far worse for Black and Hispanic women). And it’s starting to get more attention. The 2023 Nobel Prize in Economics was awarded to Claudia Goldin for her extensive research on this very topic. She studies how the gender pay gap has evolved over the past several decades, and one of her conclusions is that men are more likely to take on “greedy work”, work that requires significantly longer hours and offers less flexibility. And since “greedy jobs”, like those in finance or law, pay disproportionately more, women end up with less because we simply can’t take on those jobs with our other responsibilities at home. But this isn’t about women not wanting to make more money or work more. In fact, it’s just the opposite. We do want more money, and we’re doing a better job of fighting for our worth than men. Research from Vanderbilt Professor Jessica A. Kennedy shows that women actually negotiate more than men, a trend that’s reversed over the last couple of decades. But of course, we’re still trailing behind. 

Tell me what I can do

Since knowledge is power, knowing how much our peers are making can help us see what’s feasible for ourselves. And the experts agree. The International Labor Organization’s 2022 study showed that pay transparency has the potential to reduce gender pay inequalities. And gender equity advocate Gloria Steinem has a similar perspective. She once said ‘We will never solve the feminization of power until we solve the masculinity of wealth’. AKA if we don’t talk about money, we aren’t going to make more money, and we’re going to continue to have less power in society.

Tell me the risks

But talking about how much we make isn’t necessarily foolproof. Research out of Berkeley shows that knowing what your coworkers make leads to less confidence and lower job satisfaction. Yikes. Similarly, in Norway, tax records have been public information for decades, meaning you can look up any individual’s salary. When this became accessible online in 2001, it led to the widening of the happiness gap and life satisfaction gap between higher-wage and lower-wage earners. So not exactly the utopian outcome everyone expected.

Let us know what you think by voting in our poll and leaving an anonymous comment.

  💭 Our two cents

Early in my career, I found out that my friend who had the same title and years of work experience as me was making $30K more at a comparable firm. Until then, I honestly thought I was being paid very well. So what did I do? 

I promptly found myself a new job that paid tens of thousands of dollars more and said sayonara to the old one, accelerating my pay trajectory. Did finding out I was making less than her lead to lower job satisfaction for me? Yes. But did it also prompt me to get a significant raise and thus take back control of my own career and wealth-building journey? Absolutely.

So what do we think? We think there’s a time and a place for sharing this kind of information. It shouldn’t be about prying or competing or, god forbid, comparing each other’s worth. What it should be about is supporting and educating and empowering each other to see the opportunities in front of us. And there should be no shame in sharing this kind of stuff openly. Because remember, knowledge is power. 

So we say… get talking. :)

 ✅ You should also know…

👂 Listen: Want to know what some really smart people have to say? Check out these Harvard researchers’ chat on salary disclosure.

☝️Get influenced: @charlottechaze went viral for adding her salary to each of her roles on LinkedIn. Now, she shares career advice to help you get the salary bumps she achieved. 

💸 Negotiate: Negotiate your next offer/raise with 81cents (I know someone who used this service and achieved a $100K salary bump 🤯)

💃 The girls have spoken

In all future newsletters, we’ll use this section to report last week’s poll results, paraphrase comments, and share anonymous feedback from our audience.

Have something to say? Pls tell us! Reply to this email or leave an anonymous comment here :) 

Come back next week for So... how much time, energy, and moolah are your lovely looks actually costing you? And share with a friend below!

💖 S & J